Color Does Matter

Some folks may be disillusioned enough to believe that size doesn't matter, but let me assure you, ladies and gents, that color choice most certainly DOES. Now we've already talked about how I have decided to break the fashion rules against spandex for those of us who may be anorexically challenged, because - hey - bulging here and there is WAYYYY better than suffering through an irritating raw spot anywhere NEAR the nether region from running in baggy shorts. But I digress... In my newfound wardrobe brazenness, I donned the tight knee length Danskin knit shorts and white T-back moisture-wicking tank top and headed off to the treadmill. These particular shorts are yellow, which at the time I bought them, made me think of warm summer. Well, folks, I promise you that I looked like anything but a ray of sunshine, LOL! As I hopped up on the treadmill and start to increase the speed, I notice something a little odd in my reflection in the glass. As I turn to check my backside in the mirror, much to my horror, I notice a really dark area about the size of 3/4 of my butt cheeks showing through my tight yellow pants. So not only did I look like a giant banana that swallowed a small baby rhino thundering along on the treadmill, I chose to wear a pair of DARK GREEN underpants to complete the ensemble. I had a split second thought of running away in shame, but thought better of it. I mean seriously, if I can push through scabby chafing, I can certainly run through the humiliation of showing everyone my big yellow and green rump. Besides, I think I deserve to scar someone else's retinas after puting up with Mr. BoogerSnot Man and Mr. Cardiac Man.

The moral of the story is ... well, I don't really have a moral for this story other than I am definitely going to stick to the darker hues of the rainbow on the next shopping trip, LOL!