Fear the She-Beest!

So I went today to the bike shop to take Bailey's bike to get a tune-up and cleaned up to make it work for the race, cause I just want to be sure I live through this first triathlon before I plunk downa bunch of money for a new road bike. And I thought - well, I better buy my helmet, cause I'm going to need one of those, LOL! First, let me just back up a second and say that the guys down at Owen Cyclery in Hixson, TN, are just top notch! They didn't try to talk me into the $190 helmet - they were very straight forward and honest, and came right out and told me that the $49 helmet passes the same safety ratings as those high-dollar ones, and the differences come in just that tad bit improved aerodynamics and teensy bit lighter weight. So since, at this point I am more concerned with avoiding a skull fracture than I am with shaving 1/2 an ounce off the weight of my head (which according to the little blonde kid in Jerry Macguire weighs 8 pounds), I got this way cool pink one! AND... Kurt thought I should get some bike gloves, and the guy did say that the padding in the gloves would make it easier to grip the handle bars and be more comfy on the paws... so we were looking at different ones, and there were foam pads and gel pads and no pads nad all these different things... and I looked and tried on and just couldn't decide... until I saw these puppies... I just KNEW I had to have them because they had "SHE-BEEST" on them, LOL!!! They weren't the cheapest pair, but I absolutely was not leaving the store with out my BEEST gear :) Cause I am SHE-BEEST hear me ROAR!!! :)

And the even most bodaciously exciting news of all is that I think I am actually going to be able to afford a real bike in the very near future! Thought for sure I'd have to spend thousands of dollars, but I can really get one for under $700!!!! I am so freaking excited I can't hardly stand myself, cause... guess what?! They even have LAYAWAY!!!!

WOOOOP WOOOOOP!

Letting It All Hang Out

Well, hello my blog readers... all three of you, LOL! It's been a couple of weeks since I've updated you guys about my training, and it's really too bad too, cause I really had some hilariously witty posts mulling around in my mind, but unfortunately those moments will be forever lost in the cobwebs of my memory, LOL! So instead, you get to enjoy a post full of the nitty gritty, unglamorous, low down reality of my journey.

In honor of my birthday, I took my measurements so I could at least start tracking some progress since the dangblasted scale hasn't budged! I swear that ridiculous hunk of digital technology has it out for me... otherwise, with all this running, swimming, and biking I've been doing, you'd think the numbers would be going down. But I digress... Anyway, whilest these may not be 100% accurate since I did it myself, here are my measurements such as they are... Oh, I was in my swimsuit, for the record, LOL!

Bust - 40", Waist - 41" at the belly button, Hips - 46 3/4", Thighs - 25 3/4", Calves - 14 1/8", and Biceps - 11 3/4".

In all honestly, I don't care so much about the number on the scale, as I do about changing my shape a little. Weight loss was not a part of my decision to take on this triathlon, but I'd sure like to go from looking so much like a cylindrical baby rhino on it's hind legs and a little more like a shapely gazelle, LOL. I would really honestly just like to midsection to diminish some -you know, for my waist measurement to be LESS than my boob measurement. I mean cmon, folks! The front on view isn't so bad, but the profile is a killer, LOL!

The disappointing part is I didn't have the presence of mind to take measurements when I started. But the good news is, I think something is happening! Not sure quite what it is, but some of the blubbery junk is nomadically moving out of the trunk and settling somewhere else, leaving no return address I hope! To test it out, I went to Old Navy yesterday to spend a Christmas gift card. Convinced I was just going to go in and get another pair of the size 16 Sweetheart jeans, I was surprized to find my hands grabbing differend pairs to try one. I went into the dressing room, and much to my shock, both pairs fit! I tried on size 14 Sweethearts and size 14 Dreamers, and they fit!!! And I didn't even have to pack & cram the chubby glory into the jeans - I just pulled them up and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzipped them up! YEEEHAAAAAAAW! Even took the following picture to commemorate the moment:

Doesn't this just scream "KISS MY BADONKADONK?"

Anyway, now my sights are set on those elusive size 12's... really I'd settle for for some muscular definition, cause right now the only definition I seem to have is the lumpy cottage cheesey fatness :)

Oh, I did have to decrease my training just a little. Going so hard-core 6 days a week was really a bit much... I mean, I was doing it, but it was all I could do to get through the training. Since I've scaled back to 4-5 days a week, I have noticed a big difference. I am actually making more progress and feeling stronger than when I was killing myself and barely able to get through. Maybe there is something to the old notion that rest time is necessary. Can't help wanting to go full bore though, because time is running out. Race Day is fast approaching - only 62 days, 15 hours, 25 minutes and 5 seconds to go... I just hope I'm ready!

Orca LIVES!

Ok ladies 'n' gents, I know you have been following some of my training ups and downs and crazy adventures, but I'm about to give you a visual treat to go right along with all the mental pictures. The triathlon I'm doing is wetsuit legal, and all of the reasearch I've done has told me that wetsuits are definitely beneficial to give you extra bouyancy (sp??) and warmth. And I need all the help I can get - my back end sinks like a freaking ANCHOR in the pool, LOL! So I searched and searched online for a wetsuit, since there is no place in Chattanooga that has them in person that I could find. I went to a bunch of manufacturer websites, and apparently, we are right in between seasons. All of the 2009 suits are sold out, and the 2010 haven't come out yet, so all that's available is a stray clearance suit here and there. Oh did I mention that I have turned into a cross dresser? Yeah - get this! They only make womens suits to fit up to about 170lbs - that's the largest I could find. So I had to go with a men's suit. But the good news is, I got a FANTASTIC deal online at Ebay, from the seller "ediscountbikes", and they have STELLAR customer service! I highly recommend shopping with them if, after seeing the photos below, you get the sudden urge to follow in my smokin' hot trend-setting style footsteps!

Anyway.... without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Orca :)

Now, mind you, I was not going commando under that wetsuit... you can probably see the lines from my underpants :) On race day, I'll have my race suit on under this - I ordered that one online too, and it should be here this week too. Don't worry - I'll post pics of that too, LOL! And really, I am hoping that, by posting these pics online, I get all the shame and embarassment out of the way, so that I could give a RIP what people think of my smokin' hot blubber butt on Race Day, LOL!

Anyway, that's the latest, folks! Now I'm off to watch Biggest Loser! How appropriate, huh?!